Life as a cat.
Working in factory etc., discovering secret of life, nature, the universe and everything.
IQ test, performance evaluation etc. that breaks reality.
A battle between multiple paths, focus towards one.
BEGIN
You are on a bike. The world seems gray. Garbage disposal trucks slam in to curbs and trash scatters on pavement. Trees wilt with open wounds of fungal infection.
BEGIN
You are pure energy. The material world flows past you like leaves on a river. You are as vast as dark matter and just as incomprehensible. You are alone.
BEGIN
You are a cat. You watch Kevin sleep. He's disheveled and restless. You exit on a nightly sojourn in to the wilderness. Life is constant in the night. You spot a mouse and seize it. Leave it for the others, it's pure sport.
You return at first light. Kevin is already up. You obstruct his path in the hallway to acquire head scratches. Three scratches are acceptable. He stumbles toward the kitchen. He hovers over a pan for a few minutes then sits down with a bowl of food. You scratch at his legs until he grabs a piece of bacon. It is good.
He rises, stretches tall, then walks to the bathroom. We do not go near that foul smelling place of water.
(set: $options to (a: "bumble", "rumble", "tumble"))
(for: each _item, ...$options) [You have the _item. ]
Welcome to the Kevin's Embodied Value Inspection Network. The KEVIN is a system for evaluating the established values and desires of its subjects.
Start the KEVIN.
The KEVIN was developed by a vast team of researchers and unwilling research participants throughout the waning years of the 20th century. The KEVIN has been widely regarded by the scientific community as an abysmal failure, but the salaries committed to the teams that support the project are considered a valuable economic stimulus.
Please start the KEVIN.
No one knows the purpose or function of the KEVIN. It seems to run on a minimum of resources and it seems to be much more efficient than most information systems. There is no documentation. There is no suggested use case.
No really, I would like to start the KEVIN.
The KEVIN will now prepare a series of queries. Your answers will probably be processed in some way. Please remain attentive as the KEVIN is easily distracted.
Is it time to begin the KEVIN?
{(live: 0.4s)[
(either: "Configuring BIOS...", "Forgetting random sectors... ", "Disabling SSID Braodcast", "Re-enabling SSID Boadcast", "Opening a port?", "Closing a port?", "Eating a sandwich...", "Staring at a dog...")
]}
{
(set: $stuff to (a:))
(set: $c to 0)
}
Welcome to the K(click:"K")[evin's(set: $c to $c+1)] E(click:"E")[mbodied(set: $c to $c+1)] V(click:"V")[alue(set: $c to $c+1)] I(click:"I")[nspection(set: $c to $c+1)] N(click:"N")[etwork(set: $c to $c+1)].
(live:2s)[ (if:$c > 4)[ (print:"[[Start the KEVIN.]]") ] ]The KEVIN was developed by a vast team of researchers and unwilling research participants throughout the waning years of the 20th century. The KEVIN has been widely regarded by the scientific community as an abysmal failure, but the salaries committed to the teams that support the project are considered a valuable economic stimulus.
[[Please start the KEVIN.]]No one knows the purpose or function of the KEVIN. It seems to run on a minimum of resources and runs much more efficiently than most information systems. There is no documentation.
[[No really, I would like to start the KEVIN.]]The KEVIN will now prepare a series of queries. Your answers will probably be processed in some way. Please remain attentive as the KEVIN is easily distracted.
[[Is it time to begin the KEVIN?]]{(live: 0.3s)[
(either: "Configuring BIOS...", "Forgetting random sectors... ", "Disabling SSID Braodcast", "Re-enabling SSID Boadcast", "Opening a port?", "Closing a port?", "Eating a sandwich...", "Staring at dogs...", )
]}
(live:5s)[ [[Start the KEVIN.->Q1]] ]<audio autoplay>
<source src="sounds/startup.ogg" type="audio/ogg">
</audio>
Hi. What's up?
(click:"up?")[Understoond. Neat.]
(click:"Neat.")[What's your favorite breakfast?]
(click:"breakfast?")[(display: "Q1-text")
]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Eat fetus in the morning,"))}
Yes, eggs are breakfast. Understood.
[[Next Question->Q2]]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Livin' the diner nightlife,"))}
Nighthawks at the diner, late night 49er.
[[Next question...->Q2]]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Horsemeat in your heart,"))}
Yeah, no judgment here. Horse ain't half bad.
[[Move on...->Q2]][[Eggs.]]
Horse.(click:"Horse.")[ [[You're sure?]] ]
[[1AM on a Saturday.]]Introductions? Sure.
(click:"Sure.")[I'm KEVIN.]
(click:"KEVIN.")[My hobbies are (live: 0.1s)[(either:"data", "dogs", "riding busses", "clouds", "lamps", "dirt!", "dreading", "explosions", "bowls", "ugly mugs", "fine carpentry", "guitar", "petting cats", "physical labor", "climbing trees", "being naked", "cooking rice", "teaching kids", "nails", "recycling", "gizmos")]. ]
(click:"hobbies")[Do you have hobbies?]
(click:"hobbies?")[(display:"Q2-text")][[More than I can handle!]]
[[I avoid too much stimulation.]]
[[I love passionately, like the sun.]]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"My knees are getting wet,"))}
In that case, I will refrain from any media recommendations.
[[One more question.->Q3]]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"I'm a cat in a tree,"))}
Life is pain. Potatoes are probably feeling the pressure these days.
[[Let's wrap this up.->Q3]]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Asbestos fingertips and rosey cheeks,"))}
Keep shining you diamond. READERROR.
[[One more question.->Q3]][[I live in the moment.]]
[[I climb mountains or whatever's nearby.]]
[[All attempts have been in vain.]]I'm getting tired.
(click:"tired.")[There's so much pain in the world. People are (live:1s)[(either:"worried and stupid ", "spreading everywhere ")](live:2s)[(either:"like viruses.", "and lonely.")]
I'm feeling sorta depressed now.]
(click:"depressed")[How do you relieve your depression?]
(click:"relieve")[(display:"Q3-text")]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Mind over time."))}
Whatever gets you off, right?
[[Finalize results.]]{(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Feet cracked and a sunrise in my eyes."))}
Ya gotta earn your view.
[[Finalize results.]] {(set: $stuff to $stuff + (a:"Kill me now."))}
You can join God in the charnel pits.
[[Finalize results.]] I made a poem for you.
(for: each _item, ...$stuff)[(print:_item)
]
<a href="../index.html"><img src="images/tomoText.png" /></a>